


Never Say Never

by astrovevo



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/M, Lydia and Stiles, Stydia, lydia martin and stiles stilinski - Freeform, stiles and lydia - Freeform, stiles stilinski and lydia martin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-10-07 08:56:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10356798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrovevo/pseuds/astrovevo
Summary: After finding Stiles, Lydia feels an unexplainable guilt. Loosely based of the song: Never Say Never by The Fray.





	

Two days have passed since the pack got Stiles back and Lydia and Stiles haven’t gotten much time to spend together. Scott, obviously and Lydia understands, is with his best friend every single second of the day. Scott will only go back home to change his clothes and shower. So, naturally, Lydia never got to spend time alone with him so far. 

Whenever she stopped by, Scott would be there and/or Malia. Lydia came in, and seated herself on the couch far away from everyone else. She spends her time with them just taking Stiles in. 

It’s been two days since they kissed. . . Lydia stayed with him the night he got back, making sure he didn’t have any nightmares. She didn’t sleep that very night – she couldn’t bring herself to lose sight of him. The past three months without him felt like a void had been created that she hopelessly tried to fill. The past three months reminded her of the time when Allison was there and everyone looked at her like she was crazy – that hopeless emotion wove itself back in her mind when without Stiles. 

Back when they were fighting off the Nogitsune and Stiles had disappeared one night, Lydia was so sure she knew where he was. . . but all she had done was lead everyone to waste time. Her heart aches at the memory of the Sheriff yelling at her – he was worried, his frustration was justifiable. She remembers how the next day when she was hypersensitive sounds, she shot down the overwhelming sensation and told Scott she was ‘fine’. 

Lydia is very good at convincing everyone she’s ‘fine’. She’s a professional at putting up a facade, with no one questioning it – except for Stiles. He always knows when something is wrong with her. No matter how many ‘I’m fine’ or ‘nothing’ she’ll say, he will always see right through that. He never left her alone. 

And that breaks Lydia. She had taken so much time to come to terms with her feelings for the hazel/amber-eyed boy. And when she saw him with their beloved werecoyote, she broke. She recalls the countless nights she had spent crying due to the loss of two people she cared about and then having lost a boy she’s growing feelings for. Lydia remembers all the times she went to Allison’s grave and tried to explain her feelings – why she had been so jealous. But never had it ever come up that Lydia had fallen in love with Stiles. 

Her heart felt like it had been punched every time he saw Stiles share a kiss with Malia. Malia’s a wonderful person – unlike Lydia, Malia saw the incredible boy before her and took her chance with him. Lydia just took so long. 

And now, after kissing him again in the locker room, Lydia felt content – well, it lasted for a good twenty-four hours. After that, she was back in the state that she was in when she lost people she cared about – dead or alive. 

Once again, today, in the late evening, Lydia is sitting on the couch in the Stilinski household as she admires every mole he has on him, dusted eccentrically over his neck. She smiles at the sight of his lips twisting into a smile or his eyes brightening up when him and the two werewolves laugh. Lydia’s hands curl into fists as she desperately resists the urge to get up and kiss him. 

But she can’t because Malia and Scott are here as well. They’re meant to be having a ‘recap’ night because Stiles had missed a lot and also because graduation was in a month or so and they just needed to spend time together. 

Lydia keeps quiet and keeps to herself. She makes sure to only pitch in when necessary and to make sure she doesn’t upset anyone. 

Lydia can’t exactly pinpoint what is exactly making her feel so useless, hopeless once more. It’s numerous things, actually. It’s the feeling of guilt of having not figured out the rift earlier and getting Stiles sooner. It’s the pain she feels for not having told Stiles she loves him before. 

She should’ve figured it out sooner. She and lost so much time together. She blames herself mainly because she hadn’t accepted and realised her feeling sooner. She kicks herself mentally for intruding whenever the supernaturals wanted to speak with him after the Ghost Riders incident. 

Lydia internally cries because she can’t do what Scott and Malia can do – all she has is voices in her head. As for Stiles, he’s figures it – he’s the one who always figures it out. Lydia feels like an extra on a dinghy show where her role for the play isn’t impactful – once removed, the play will remain the same. 

Currently, Scott, Malia and Stiles are sharing stories about supernatural stuff. It’s something Lydia only feels guilt and worthlessness. Looking at them, all Lydia can remember is all the times she was too late. She was too late in the finding the bodies . . she only, ever found dead bodies. She has never found someone in time to save them from their impending death. 

Back in Mexico, she put the best friend of the love of her life through torture. Through torture she should have volunteered to take. Just to make sure Stiles didn’t have to find his best friend weak. But she hadn’t. Because she was so confused and the voices in her head had overwhelmed her. She shouldn’t have taken so long to find the codes for the dead pool. She shouldn’t have driven Meredith crazy. She shouldn’t she shouldn’t she shouldn’t – 

“Lydia?” a soft, liquid voice calls. 

Lydia snaps out of her trance of guilt, her eyes wide and full of regret. She looks at the other three and forces a smile onto her face. She can recognise that voice anywhere: Stiles. 

She looks at him, and her features dramatically soften up. They aren’t as sharp as they were mere seconds ago. She gives him a genuine smile – a smile laced with a hidden guilt and regret. “Yes?” she croaks, then becomes aware of her desperate need for water. 

“What do you think?” Scott chuckles, looking at her sweetly. 

Lydia blinks completely lost. “I’m sorry,” she quickly apoligises, “I was daydreaming.” 

“It’s fine,” Malia assures, giving the banshee a great smile. Stiles looks at Malia and grin, momentarily thinking, ‘huh, progress!’ 

The interaction does not go unnoticed by Lydia. Her heart clenches – what if it was always Malia and Stiles? What if Lydia is just a barrier? What if they didn’t want to hurt her so aren’t together in front of her? 

Lydia quickly crushes her thoughts – Stiles and Malia are over for good. But she wants to hurt herself. She wants herself to feel the unexplainable guilt for not having noticed Stiles earlier. She wants herself to feel the ache of seeing Stiles with someone else. She wants herself to feel worthless. 

“We were wondering if she should order food or make some ourselves,” Scott explains, shrugging. 

“I’ll cook,” Lydia offers, in an attempt to make herself feel useful. She stands up, dusting her jeans. “Is there anything you guys would specifically like?” 

“Deer – I mean pasta! Please, Lydia!” Malia pleads, getting onto her knees on the couch. 

After the Sheriff had taken out Malia for pizza, he had ordered pasta as well. 

“Any specific kind?” Lydia gently questions. 

Malia looks at Stiles, with a frown. “What’s the place your dad took me to with the combo Italian thing?” 

And that’s when Lydia feels crushed. 

All she ever did was anger the Sheriff, she never left him in peace. She is a crazy person and all she ever did was confuse Stiles’ dad. All she ever did was bother him with the voices in her head.

Malia, on the other hand, came to some use. She didn’t waste the Sheriff’s time. Sheriff Stilinski loves Malia. Malia has helped the pack so much, in desperate times, unlike herself, Lydia compares, who just stands and watches but still manages to end up in the hospital. All she ever did was find dead bodies for the Sheriff to pile up. 

The memory of the Sheriff yelling at her the night Stiles sleepwalked hits her, making Lydia visibly cringe as she stands behind the couch. 

“Oh, Benny’s,” Stiles naturally answers, pulling out his phone to order a few other things. 

Lydia has a pained expression herself which lets out a chemosignal that the alpha mistakenly catches. Scott looks over his shoulder, quickly, at Lydia. She’s looking at the floor but Scott can make out the hurt in her features. He smells the growing anxiety on her. 

When she looks back up, she’s focused on wiping a tear from her cheek. Once she feels Scott’s gaze, her hand freezes on her cheek, eyes growing wide. She opens her mouth to say something, but announces, “I’ll be in the kitchen.” And then she leaves. 

“She’s not okay!” Malia frantically whispers, once checking Lydia is out of sight. 

Scott looks at Malia, smiling. Yes, Scott’s growing feelings for her but she is too, so they’re just taking it a minute at a time. “I smelled anxiety on her . .a growing anxiety,” Scott explains, leaning forward. Stiles seated on the coffee table just has his eyes focused on the kitchen door. 

“What did I say?” Stiles quickly asking his best friends. 

Scott and Malia looks at each other for a long moment, unsure expressions on their faces. Malia sighs, silently telling Scott that Stiles is the only one who can make Lydia happy. Malia turns to face Stiles who’s growing impatient. “When - When I asked where your dad took me. . that’s when we smelled it. .” 

“What? Why? She knows that we dated and that we’ve moved on –” Stiles stops and teasingly darts his eyes between the supernaturals. Malia rolls her eyes at Stiles and Scott ducks his head. “So, why?” 

“Well . . quite honestly it wasn’t jealousy. . it was this sadness that struck her,” Malia answers. “You need to tell her that it’s her or noone for her, Stiles.” 

“Ever since we got you back, she’s returned to how she was when we were in Mexico. . alone, depressed. . hurt,” Scott elaborates. Stiles looks down, feeling hurt himself. 

Did he make Lydia feel useless? He never meant to! He loves Lydia! He has loved her for ten years. .. of course, the feeling deepened and became real when they got to know each other. .

“Talk to her,” Malia advises, shrugging and sparing a glance at Scott. 

“Okay,” Stiles breathes, getting up and walking to the kitchen. 

Inside, Lydia is shaking, whilst trying to pour pasta into a bowl. Her phone is resting beside the stove on the counter, probably with a pasta recipe pulled up on it. 

Lydia’s shivering comes to a halt when she feels warm arms wrap around her thin waist. Lydia’s eyes close in bliss when she feels Stiles’ nose gently rest on her hair, as he nuzzles it. She hears his breathing become heavy and just like her’s, his heart is hammering against his rib cage. 

“Hey,” Stiles whispers, trying to be comforting. 

With their bodies pressed against each other so tightly, electricity crackles between them, blessing their bodies with an unexplainable lightheartedness. Their softs hands come together on Lydia’s stomach, which makes Lydia involuntarily lean into his. 

Stiles takes the opportunity to pull her hair to one side and brush his lips against her neck. “Hi,” Lydia mutters back, her voice shaky. 

Stiles Stilinski puts Lydia Martin at peace. Stiles keeps her sane. He makes her feel so loved. When she’s with him, her heart feels full, she feels complete. 

Absentmindedly, Lydia turns around and snuggles into Stiles, arms winding around his waist as his arms wrap around her shoulder and one hand buries itself in her hair, pulling her close. He strokes her hair, calming her down. 

She soft feel of Stiles’s plaid shirt makes her hold him closer. They fit perfectly . . . like a puzzle or a missing letter in a word. 

“I’m right here,” Stiles whispers, leaning down and kissing the top of her head. “I’m here. . you have me.” 

Stiles pulls back and then he is in shock. 

Lydia is crying .. has been crying.

Stiles, alarmed, cups her cheeks, leaning down to examine her. “Lyds,” Stiles whispers, pressing a kiss to her right eye. “I love you, okay?” 

Lydia nods. “But why?” her broken voice inquires. 

And that’s when Stiles realises how much his absence affects her. Not physical, but mental, as well. 

Without further hesitation, Stiles leads her up to his room. He locks the door once they’re inside. 

When he was with Malia, Scott said that Lydia was slowly disintegrating. . she was losing her mind without Stiles. Stiles was too caught up with his new girlfriend to notice. . but Scott said he’s seen her multiple times at Allison’s grave, mourning over numerous things. Scott told him that she needed him but he wasn’t there. . .but it was too late. He found this out from Scott once Lydia was imprisoned in Eichen. 

And now, Stiles feels guilty. 

He looks at her, standing in a flimsy top and jeans. He sees how hopeless she looks by the way her shoulders are slumped. . defeated. He takes a cautious step forward before cupping her face once more. 

“You’re so brave, Lydia Martin,” Stiles breaths, kissing her temple. “And when you smile, I feel complete. You’ve fought so much, Lydia. . you’ve been through so much yet here your are, fierce and standing. I admire you so much.” 

Lydia looks up at him, a soft smile on her face and tears in her eyes. “But your father . . all I ever do is mislead him –” Lydia objects. 

“No, he doesn’t think of you like that. . he loves you so much, Lydia,” Stiles whispers, pulling her into a tight hug. 

Lydia breaks down, sobbing loudly into his chest. 

But her safe haven is here. . Stiles is her anchor, her home. She finds great comfort in him. The way he holds her thaws the frozen parts in her . .around him, she’s sane, she’s herself. He weakens her. He loves her. 

“I love you so much,” Lydia whispers. 

Stiles pulls back, looking at her with a great mesmerisation. His heart soars at her words. Happiness fills him, making him not function properly. 

Without any more hesitance, Stiles crushes his lips against Lydia’s. 

Their kiss is passionate and emotional. They make up for the time they’ve lost. . they reassure each other of one another’s presence. They complete each other. 

Their kiss turns from gentle to frantic, as Stiles backs them to his bed. Pulling away, he pulls her top off, then steps back. His fingers gently rest on her scars. . . he whispers, “These make you who you are. Don’t be ashamed of them.” 

Stiles understood her thoughts unlike anyone else. He pulled her back when she was drowning but she found herself then losing breaths when with him. And he doesn’t mind. 

They fall onto the bed, to find physical happiness and isolate themselves from the whirling world for a while. 

\- 

The moonlight streams through the window, bathing them in a milky light. 

Lydia and Stiles are on their sides, facing each other, gazing into one another’s eyes. Lydia pulls a small, gentle smile and this gets a response similar from Stiles as well. Stiles shuffles closer, his hand coming to wrap around Lydia’s naked waist. He pulls her closer to him, letting out a sigh. 

His soft breath fans Lydia’s forehead. Moments later, his lips come in contact with her skin there, making Lydia’s heart skip a beat. She flushes in his hold. . .who would have ever thought. . 

“I love you,” he groans out, moving to get comfortable. 

And Lydia’s molten. This is the first time he’s said ‘I love you’ since the night he was taken. 

Lydia looks up, to meet his closed eyes. Her hands begin to shake as the excitement levels in her increase. A rushing emotion of happiness swarms her, making her not be able to think correctly. 

Stiles feels Lydia’s heated gaze. Consequently, he opens his eyes, quirking an eyebrow. 

In that moment, Lydia Martin knows that Stiles Stilinski is the one. He’s her anchor. He’s the one who will always catch her before her body hits the floor. . whatever the floor may be. She knows that Stiles will be there, standing by her, hand in hand, as she navigates her way through this horrific, glorious exploration called life. 

And then her heart picks up all the pieces and puts itself back together. 

“And I love you, too.”


End file.
